Disney lied.
Most of us spent our growing up years watching stories of princesses being swept off their feet by handsome princes and living happily ever after.
Then we got married.
And realized our "happily ever after" was really just catering to a fussy toddler...uh...our "Prince Charming" forever.
My Prince Charming is a bus driver with a penchant for corn dogs.
In addition to his love of finger foods, R likes to tell BAD jokes.
Not cool bad. Like jokes about strippers and blow.
Just genuinely bad.
Yesterday, I saw an ant and said "Look at that ant." To which he replied "Where is the uncle?" and proceeded to laugh, looking at me expectantly to do the same.
R likes me to inspect things he has cleaned. And then deluge him with praise.
"Look at the cabinets, I pledged them"
When I replied "Ok", he squirmed in visible disappointment.
Apparently his emotional bucket was empty and he wanted me to fill it.
I am just waiting for him to ask me to give him his sippy cup and change his diaper.
And since I am not Erin, I would not enjoy that.
My next husband is going to be a stoic, emotionally unavailable, and distant.
But he will have amazing hair and a solid retirement plan.
My Prince Charming at last.
L
No comments:
Post a Comment